Trick or Treat!

Appropriately dark proposal humor tidbits for Halloween. Keep reading if you dare…

Here are some famous lines from horror favorites translated for the living dead that are proposal professionals. Cackles, groans and screams may result:

1. "I see dead people." – The Sixth Sense (1999)

   RFP Translation: Thank you all for joining the kick off call for this RFP.

2. "You will die in seven days."
   – The Ring (2002)

   RFP Translation: This RFP is due when???

3. "They're here."
   – Poltergeist (1982)

   RFP Translation: Just got the first quarterly DDQ request in.

4.  “True!—nervous—very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad?”
   – The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe (1843)

   RFP Translation: I am a proposal writer. I write RFPs for a living.

5. "Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep."
   – A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

   RFP Translation: Can you make these changes and get me another draft to review?

6. "It’s alive! It’s alive!"
   – Frankenstein (1931)

   RFP Translation: Head of Sales overturned the No Go decision.  RFP is on.

7. "Do you like scary movies?"
   – Scream (1996)

   RFP Translation: We’d like you to come in and interview with the team.

8. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."
   – The Shining (1980)

   RFP Translation: This RFP looks easy and standard.

9. "Once upon a midnight dreary."
   – The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe (1845)

   RFP Translation: This proposal is yours.

10.  "In space, no one can hear you scream."
    – Alien (1979

    RFP Translation: Why are you still online after business hours?

Want to send spinetingling shivers down your teammates’ backs? Sneak up behind them in the break room and whisper these proposal jump scares - words that strike fear into the hearts of RFP writers:

1.      What do you mean it’s due tomorrow?

2.      Legal called.  That RFP has been subpoenaed.

3.      I just got an email from internal audit.

4.      The attachment file size exceeds outgoing email limitations.

5.      AWS (Amazon Web Services) is down.

6.      The SME is out on parental leave until August.

7.      The due date is December 26th.

8.      I don’t see the RFP draft on the shared drive anymore!

9.      Someone’s got to be in the office for coverage.

10. This RFP has senior management visibility.

Happy Halloween everyone! Now get out there and do some haunting!